Like most things related to sexuality, masturbation can be a process of both discovery and difficulty. If you are discovering masturbation for the first time or hitting a rough patch in your current masturbation practices, the first step is taking a step back and analyzing what you are trying to achieve.
I know that sounds funny, because what is masturbation without orgasm? Masturbation can be the process of self-pleasure in a way that makes you feel good! Often times goal-oriented masturbation, with orgasm being the goal, can make it that much more frustrating if you cannot achieve orgasm. Not saying that orgasm can’t be the desired outcome, but at times stepping back and readjusting your practices can be extremely beneficial to helping the process to achieving orgasm.
Across the boards one of the biggest difficulties people have with masturbation is that it will directly effect partnered sex leading to a lack of orgasm. This can be true for many, but you do not have to give up self-pleasuring to orgasm with a partner! Whether you’re using a toy or specific technique, your body may get used to only being able to achieve orgasm through that method. And if you are having difficulty orgasming during self-pleasure, you may be trying a technique that doesn’t work for you. The solution for many is changing up the methods of masturbation.
Keep in mind that this can be a frustrating process because it requires retraining your body to different types of stimulation, but don’t give up! Here are a few tips to retraining your body to different stimulation.
- Take orgasm out of the picture first, and focus on what makes you feel good
- Switching out your vibrator for your digits, or replace that death grip with a lighter touch will break the habit of only being able to self-pleasure in one way.
- Try reading some erotica, watching a flick (or whatever it is that turns you on) because being aroused will make it that much easier to find enjoyment from masturbation. Check out “Setting the Mood for One” for some more tips.
- When you feel good about the way you get off and can self-pleasure in a way that will allow you to really get into the moment, you can take masturbation to a whole new level!
- Don’t forget to use lubricant and happy trails!
A lot of folks spend time and energy engaging in some kind of mood setting for their sexual partners, but forget to do the same for themselves when it comes to solo play. This month, for National Masturbation Month, I challenge you to treat yourself, to yourself!
What makes you feel positively sexy?
I am here to tell you to be a little selfish for the sake of May! Do what feels good to you, and let ConCon be your one stop shop to getting you off.
- For the lingerie lover: Pick out a new bra & panty set, sexy pair of man-ties (men’s underwear), or lingerie and try getting through your work day knowing what you have in store for yourself later!!
- Make a playlist: Music can make all of the difference in a solo sesh. Making a playlist means surveying what kind of music makes you feel hot or which lyrics really get you going. If you are really into music, try the wireless Ohmibod Freestyle Vibe which pulsates to your favorite tunes. Um hello, climaxing to your favorite guitar solo brings a whole new level to solo play.
- Fuel the flame: Perhaps a your fantasy setting includes candles? Maybe some bubbles? Smelling sultry is an added plus!
What does it take to discover your highest pleasure potential?
Many folks need complete privacy to feel at ease enough to masturbate so here are some tips to creating your own oasis for self-lovin’.
- Pick a time and place when you can be completely alone: The shower, bath, or bedroom can be great locations for uninterrupted fun. If you are using a toy that can be loud, consider switching to a rechargeable vibe, getting on that playlist, or waiting to be completely alone.
- Take into account noises and other distractions: Nothing kills the mood more than a cell phone going off or a radio advertisement so plan accordingly!
- Get creative: Just because your solo play desires are not listed above doesn’t meant they are not valid or just as sexy. Comment below on your favorite mood setting tip for one.
If you aren’t already planning your sexy solo rendezvous, get on it and get off!
Stay tuned for some more goodies and tips throughout the month of May.
Now many of you may be wondering, why the heck there is a whole month dedicated to masturbation?
In 1995, US Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders pushed the idea that masturbation should be included in sex education curriculum. This outraged many people, which eventually led to the termination of Jocelyn Elders. This was the spark that led a popular sex shop in good ole San Francisco to dedicate the entire month of May to masturbation in all of its forms.
This celebration has the staff here at ConCon saying Hallelujah! Not only do we want to continue the original mission of this sacred month as being a time to open up discussion, but we also wanted to give our readers some sexy tips and savory deals so we can hopefully spark a year-round celebration, so stay tuned for more details…